Children Say The Funniest Things About: Christmas!

To start us off about the wise and funny things kids say - about Christmas or anything else - Rudyard Kipling's poem below, shows his thoughts on the ever enquiring child with their - "Why, Where, Who, When, What, If, But."

I keep six honest serving-men
(They taught me all I knew);
Their names are What and Why and When
And How and Where and Who.
I send them over land and sea,
I send them east and west;
But after they have worked for me,
I give them all a rest.

I let them rest from nine till five,
For I am busy then,
As well as breakfast, lunch, and tea,
For they are hungry men.
But different folk have different views;
I know a person small--
She keeps ten million serving-men,
Who get no rest at all!
She sends 'em abroad on her own affairs,
From the second she opens her eyes--
One million Hows, two million Wheres,
And seven million Whys!

Rudyard Kipling

"Children seldom misquote. In fact, they usually repeat word for word what you shouldn't have said." ~Author Unknown

Children have the most extraordinary habit of giving answers that you least expect. The following are a few quotes from children aged between 4 and 7 years of age from various UK primary schools. However, it goes without saying that the responses could have come from any young child anywhere on the planet.

When Children were asked about Mary and Joseph, this was some of the responses:

• Debbie - 4 years - "Jesus's Mummy and Daddy are called Mary and Jovis."
• Jake - 6 years - "Jesus's parents were gods".

Children's responses to the Three Wise Men/Three Kings:

• Jason - 5 years - "The three wise men brought Jesus presents of gold and silver. But I think he would have preferred wrestling toys."
• Danny - 7 years - "I know for his birthday Jesus got money and gold but I would have given him a Liverpool football kit."
• David - 6 years - "I don't know what the wise men brought Jesus but I would have given him a tin of biscuits. I think Mary and Jospeh would have all liked a biscuit."
• Danielle - 5 years - "They brought Jesus gold and myrrh but I would have brought him a nice warm blanket."
• Rob - age 6 - "The wise men brought gold stuff for Jesus but a Lego set would have been better."
• Susie - 5 years - "The three wise men brought Jesus gold, scent and silver - no real presents. I feel sorry for him."
• Vicky - 6 years - "When he was born three kings brought him gold coins and a sheep."

When children were asked what animals were present within the stable where Jesus was born, here are some of the answers:

• Martin - 6 years: "There were sheep, horses and a crocodile outside the stable."
• Rebecca - 5 years: "In the stable there were oxens, a donkey, three camels, three birds - all white - and three cats, all black."
• Harriet - 7 years: "There was a donkey, a sheep and a cow there, as well as Mary and Joseph. It sounds quite crowded."
• Megan - 5 years: "The animals who were there in the stable were oxens, donkey, cats and a lamb."
• Sasha - 6 years: "There were camels, donkeys and cows around the stable and the wise men went to the manger to say hello to Jesus."

Questions answered about the stable itself:

• Alex - 5 years - "Baby Jesus was born in a stable made out of hay with string around it."
• Lyndsey - 7 years - "He was born in a stable where Mary and Joseph stayed. There were chickens, cows and a donkey. I don't remember any more."
• David - 4 years - "He was born in a stable a long way away from here in another country. Bethlehem - it's in England."
• Elle - 5 years - "Jesus was born in the stable - it had lots of hairs."
• Jasmine - 6 years - "Jesus was born in a barn, a shed or barn anyway, Or it might have been a stable, one of the three."

What children had to say about the Star of Bethlehem:

• Jacqueline - 7 years - "They followed a special Christmas Star - it only comes out at Christmas time.

• Josh - 6 years - "They followed a star to find Jesus, it's a very special star, but I forgot the rest."
• Elaine - 6 years - "They followed a star. It was really bright like the sun, even at night.

What children said about Jesus:

• Jane - 6 years - "Jesus was a king and he wore a crown even though he was a baby. It was a really small crown.
• Lisa - 5 years - "Jesus was a newborn king - but there were a lot of newborn kings, so he wasn't the only one.
• Karrie - 6 years - Jesus is really old and his brithday was on Christmas 2007 years ago."
• Jamie - 7 years - "Jesus is a mystery man."
• Robbie - 6 years - "Jesus is a baby God or something."

What Did Children Say About The Archangel Gabriel:

• Devon - 5 years - "The Angel Gabriel is a fairy that God sent to help us."
• Katie - 6 years - "I don't know who the angel is but I like Jesus."
• John - 7 years - "Gabriel was this kind of angel. He was a boy but he's played by a girl in the Christmas plays."
• Kim - 6 years - "The Angel Gabriel is a big white fairy. He helped Mary and Joseph to look after the baby - kind of like a doctor."
• Zoe - 6 years - "There was also an angel called Gabriel, whose favourite thing was to fly around all day."
• Peter - 7 years - "Angel Gabriel was also there and he has yellow wings and a white costume. He doesn't say much."

Children will write the most amazing things to this jolly old man who visits them once a year. These letters were written by children between 5 and 7 years of age:

• "I know I behaved really badly this year, but I promise to behave much better next year - so will it be okay if you still come and visit me with presents?"
• "Do you just have the one set of clothes? Who washes them for you? My mum can do it if you don't have a Mum of your own?"
• "Can Mrs Santa come instead? I'm very sorry but I'm scared of you!"
• "Could you make me prettier than my best friend? That's the only present I would like."
• "Do you have to clean up Rudolph's poo poos? My Dad uses a bag when our dog poo poos - do you have bags?"
• "If I wake up please don't go away without leaving presents - you made a lot of noise last year and I couldn't help it, I heard and my eyes just kind of opened! But you left nice presents. Please can you do the same again even if my eyes open up?"
• "Don't worry if Jack our dog barks! He doesn't mean to be bad. Making a bark is just what dogs do. So please leave the presents anyway. If you are very, very scared to come in if Jack barks then could you just leave the presents outside?"
• "I said to my Dad to put paper down for your muddy boots so that Mummy will not get cross about the dirt on the carpet."
• "Mummy will leave out biscuits and milk for you but you have to share with the reindeers as well. They must be very hungry."

I hope you have enjoyed this little excursion into the minds of our wonderful kids! To end the hub here's a poem I found that may help to relieve the stress of all you hard worked Mums and Dads!

Parent's night before Christmas

'Twas the night before Christmas when all through the house
I searched for the tools to hand to my spouse.
Instructions were studied and we were inspired,
In hopes we could manage "Some Assembly Required."

The children were quiet, asleep in their beds,
While Dad and I faced the evening with dread:
A kitchen, two bikes, Barbie's town house to boot!
And, thanks to Grandpa, a train with a toot!

We opened the boxes, my heart skipped a beat....
Let no parts be missing or parts incomplete!
Too late for last-minute returns or replacement;
If we can't get it right, it goes in the basement!

When what to my worrying eyes should appear,
But 50 sheets of directions, concise, but not clear,
With each part numbered and every slot named,
So if we failed, only we could be blamed.


More rapid than eagles the parts then fell out,
All over the carpet they were scattered about.
"Now bolt it! Now twist it! Attach it right there!
Slide on the seats, and staple the stair!

Hammer the shelves, and nail to the stand."
"Honey," said hubby, "you just glued my hand."
And then in a twinkling, I knew for a fact
That all the toy dealers had indeed made a pact

To keep parents busy all Christmas Eve night
With "assembly required" till morning's first light.
We spoke not a word, but kept bent at our work,
Till our eyes, they went bleary; our fingers all hurt.

The coffee went cold and the night, it wore thin
Before we attached the last rod and last pin.
Then laying the tools away in the chest,
We fell into bed for a well-deserved rest.

But I said to my husband just before I passed out,
"This will be the best Christmas, without any doubt.
Tomorrow we'll cheer, let the holiday ring,
And not have to run to the store for a thing!

We did it! We did it! The toys are all set
For the perfect, most perfect, Christmas, I bet!"
Then off to dreamland and sweet repose I gratefully went,
Though I suppose there's something to say for those self-
deluded...
I'd forgotten that batteries are never included!


From Website - Funny Poems & Funny Poets