We Are The Elderly Of The Future
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Inside every older person is a younger person wondering what happened. ~Jennifer Yane
Are we now in a society where becoming elderly is so negative that it is almost a swear word?
There is no doubt that in the present day there is an extreme focus on staying young:
- delay and hide the wrinkles
- tuck and lift anything that droops
- keep the joints supple - anything that cracks or creaks is gross
- keep the brain active to ward off being feeble minded
- In fact do anything and everything but don't grow old.
This pessimistic view of being old not only makes younger people's progression into older age one of despair. But this despondancy is mentally projected out towards the elders of our society.
The word 'old' is immediately visualised as a combination of - ugliness, worthless, a burden, a liability, useless and something to be shunned at all costs. Not only that but once you've reached a certain age, it would seem to be assumed by many that you can't think, learn, reason or make decisions for yourself. This is a fallacy. Most elderly people are more than capable of learning new ideas, to reason and to make sound judgements on what is best for them. The actual processing may take a little longer as age increases, but this does not make the end result any less sound.
No one has to fall in love with the idea of being old. But when society's fixated beliefs are that being and looking young has worth, becoming old has none, then we harm not only our elderly people, but society in general becomes unbalanced and unhealthy.
There is no doubt that old age does bring difficulties. The most common being health, physical, social and financial issues. In short, at the time of our lives, except when very young, that we need the support and understanding of our society the most, is when, for many elderly people, they get the least. Where is the love, honour and respect that is due to our elders? Are we so incapable now as a species to view only a person's worth because of what the outside packaging looks like? What about the most important aspect of any person - that vital spark that makes them human? The older person still has the same vibrant spirit within as they did when they were a child, only the outer, protective shell has changed.
One of the main problems is our pre-occupation with a 'body-beautiful' and 'youth is all' syndrome. In addition there is a perverse attitude at every level of society, that perpetuates the belief that elderly people have no more to offer us - so much so that elderly people often believe this themselves. This results in other elements of our humanity such as our life experience, our contributions to society, our years of work and nurturing, our accumulated knowledge, is of no consequence simply because all these wonderful human attributes are packaged inside a body that has aged. Elderly people are often perceived as being different from the rest of society and in so doing many people have lost the ability to identify with them.
Not every society does have this view of ageing. Within many peoples of the world, their elders are revered and esteemed, but in the West, 'old', it could be argued, is viewed as a downgrade rather than an honourable status.
Never lose sight of the fact that old age needs so little, but needs that little so much. ~Margaret Willour
It is autumn; not without
But within me is the cold.
Youth and spring are all about;
It is I that have grown old.
~Henry Wadsworth Longfellow, "Autumn Within"
When I can look Life in the eyes,
Grown calm and very coldly wise,
Life will have given me the Truth,
And taken in exchange - my youth.
~Sara Teasdale
To think that elderly people are simply a burden and make no contribution to society is untrue. Yes there are many who are frail and through health issues are very limited to what they can now achieve. Nevertheless, they have made their contribution to the society and benefits that we currently enjoy. Many older people are carers for young children, allowing parents to go out to work. Many are involved with volunteer associations and in fact keep them going. Many are indeed still within the workforce although most do work that is poorly paid or not recognised - such as family care explained earlier. Financially they should not be viewed as a 'cost' to governments. The majority of elderly people are only receiving back what they have put in by sheer hard work and sacrifice. They vote at election times so still have an influence on what political parties may succeed, indeed with the ageing population continuing to rise their influence will become greater.
The elderly are the foundation on which our present society has been built. Every benefit we enjoy today is here because our elderly people invented, worked, fought and developed them from their very early stages. They are strong roots that keep society solid and healthy. They are the strong link from past to present. They are our living history.
For everyone of us who has not yet reached our elder years, we should be fighting hard to change attitudes towards our older people. If not, the same fate that has befallen our present day elders will be our fate in the not too distant future.
A poem by Edgar A. Guest
I used to think that growing old was reckoned just in years,
But who can name the very date when weariness appears?
I find no stated time when man, obedient to a law,
Must settle in an easy chair and from the world withdraw.
Old Age is rather curious, or so it seems to me.
I know old men at forty and young men at seventy-three.
I’m done with counting life by years or temples turning gray.
No man is old who wakes with joy to greet another day.
What if the body cannot dance with youth’s elastic spring?
There’s many a vibrant interest to which the mind can cling.
‘Tis in the spirit Age must dwell, or this would never be:
I know old men at forty and young men at seventy-three.
Some men keep all their friendships warm,
and welcome friendships new,
They have no time to sit and mourn the things they used to do.
This changing world they greet with joy and never bow to late;
On every fresh adventure they set out with hearts elate
From chilling fear and bitter dread they keep their spirits free
While some seem old at forty they stay young at seventy-three.
So much to do, so much to learn, so much in which to share!
With twinkling eyes and minds alert some brave both time and care.
And this I’ve learned from other men, that only they are old
Who think with something that has passed the tale of life is told.
For Age is not alone of time, or we should never see
Men old and bent at forty and men young at seventy-three.
Written by: Edgar A. Guest
- Console Games for Old People
PlayStation, X-Box all of those console with the buttons and little joysticks make me sick. I do not consider myself to be old, but I have a hard time using those controllers, so I end up getting killed every... - Holistic Care For Adults, Seniors, and the Elderly
senior care, elder care, adult care, elderly health care, Free universal Health Care was promised - and delivered. Money was poured into medical research; Seniors' and Adult Care issues, and In-Place Aging and Care became buzz words in political disc
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Hi MrHappy,
Many thanks for stopping by and for taking the time to leave a comment. I couldn't agree with you more but I wish there were more people in society with your positive feelings. After 25 years of nursing/caring for elderly people, unfortunately I think we seem to be going backwards at times rather than forwards. But I always keep hoping.
Great Hub - it is so wonderful when there is a recognition of important values. It is very worrying to live in a culture where there seems to be less and less recognition of the fundamental importance of treating each other with dignity. People who are most vulnerable are often the worst treated and it does not speak well of a culture when there are many examples of this type of behavior. Again, thanks for a very well written article that strongly advocates important human values.
Hi lobonorth,
Great to hear from you again and many thanks for stopping by. I agree with your comments entirely. I think the worrying thing for me, is that having been a nurse for twenty five years,(most of that time caring for elderly frail people), I would have expected attitudes to have moved on, worryingly, they seem to have gone back the way. Not just for elderly people, but as you rightly say "...there seems to be less and less recognition of the fundamental importance of treating each other with dignity..". I think we do really need to look hard at ourselves and why the most important values seem to have no worth. Many thanks again for your profound comment.
Having almost reached the point of elderly I read this with interest.
When I was a girl we had respect for our elders, I would no more have back chatted my Grandparents or parents than I would fly to the Moon!
As a kid the local bobby was revered as a friend if you needed help but woe betide you if you were naughty, a thick ear and then off home to tell your parents, but we respected that!!
I despair over the atitudes these days, the young don't seem to care for anything let alone the elderly?
Hopefully I will shuffle off this mortal coil while I still have all my faculties and not be relying on anyone to care for me, I would not make a very good care home inmate - ever seen "Waiting for God" that's me :-)
Hi bumpsymum,
Great to hear from you again. I agree with you especially in relation to Grandparents. Mine have been gone a long time now but I still miss them very much. When I was a wee girl I was like you, I wouldn't have dared to speak out of turn or give them any disrespect at all - but then we didn't want to. We loved them and cherished the very fact that they were elderly and that really meant something worthwhile to us. We had a local bobby as well - Tom was the main one who used to visit the local schools - what a great guy he was, and you always felt so safe knowing he was around. I pray as well that I'll sail onto the great unknown without too much grief from this life about my elderly age.
Oh yes, I adored my grandparents, they were the bees knees to me. They were also a haven for me so I had special love for them. Oooh, bring back the good old days.......oops nostalgia creeping in again :-)
Thank you for that wonderful article. Most interesting, most informative and most uplifting! Thank you,and glad to have stumbled in... ~Peace~
Hi MysteriousOne,
Many thanks for stopping to have a read and for your 'uplifting' comment - really appreciated. Care of our elderly people is something close to my heart - hence my area of work for 25 years now - and I aim to keep trying to make things better for these people who have given so much to us. Many thanks again for stopping by.
Age segregation is one of the saddest consequences of modern society. Some people see it as a cause, but I see it as an effect of influences that have broken down our society from the roots up. Fractured families are celebrated, not mourned, etc. Today, neither little children, parents, nor grandparents spend much time with each other, often hardly even knowing each other. Social networking does nothing for relationships, although many elderly feel that it is better than nothing. Voted up and useful...only wish there was a Bravo to choose from!
All that to say, great hub! So glad you posted it. Your closing paragraph is excellent--attitudes need to change--and I hope to see this hub highlighted with many comments.
Hi RTalloni, Many thanks for your inspiring comment. I agree with you about our society. It almost feels like society is now a market place - if your body/commodity is, as society views it, past its sell by date, then you are no longer worth anything. I also agree about splintered families, it is not only sad but a bit scary! I often wonder where it is all going and more importantly how it will end? But I have no doubt that it will be the elderly in our society who will continue to struggle and suffer. Many thanks for stopping by, I really enjoyed reading your comments.
This is a great hub. We really need to change our attitude toward the elderly, if we survive, we will be one of them too. Similar to your first quote, I remember an older woman saying that what we see in a senior is someone old, but inside is the same person who needed her mother as a little girl, a young woman who has curiosities, and who dances with delight for small and big things, and a mature woman who enjoys the company of others. Her packaging was old but she was the same person inside, she always was. People forget our soul never ages. Thank you for a wonderful read. Voted up and useful, beautiful and awesome.
I am totally agree with you. In our society the term "value" is often linked to the word" useful ". I think that a elderly person, even when he/her is not able to work or talk or write or think ( and therefore is not "useful" ) may teach us many valuable things, such as: unconditional love, patience, tollerance. In addition he/her is a bond with the past, that is also our past, our roots.
Thanks for this meaningful page.
Hi toknowinfo, great to hear from you and many thanks for leaving such a nice and interesting comment. If we look hard enough we can still see the vibrant spirit that is in every elderly person - the part that never ages and the part that is still due society's respect and honour.
Hi fucsia, many thanks for stopping by and for leaving such a great comment. I agree with you 100%. No matter what has happened to any human being they still have something important to give to us all.
If people don't realize the greatest of all things old, too bad for them. Being old rocks! Later!
Hi Kosmo. Many thanks for leaving your comment and I couldn't agree with you more. People who can't see the worth of old and elderly are sadly lacking in spirit and heart. Thanks for reading and stopping by.
I am currently dealing with my parents who are both 86, one still sharp and dealing with life effectively, the other far developed into dementia. Yes this makes you think about old age as something scary. I agree with you that we are so much in denial of growing old that we cant really deal with it (emotional and on society level)
Hi elnavann, many thanks for stopping by.
That must be a lot of work - not to mention heartache - looking after a parent who has dementia. I have worked with many elderly people and their families with this condition and there can be love and tears, humour and frustration all at the same time. But as you say you have one parent who is sharp. And I guess that is the whole point that I'm trying to make. That older doesn't mean you're a nothing, on the contrary it means you are a special something. Even our elderly people who do need a lot of care, have nevertheless contributed to their society and should therefore receive the respect they deserve for that contribution.
I am like you in that I care for one of my parents - my Dad. Unfortunately my Mum died quite a few years ago when she was still quite young. Dad has chronic heart disease and Parkinson's Disease but he is still more than capable of knowing what he wants to do in life. And although memory problems are an issue at times - due to the PD and his medication - he nevertheless leads an active and productive life. He also contributes a great deal to the well being of our whole family. And yes I do agree that becoming elderly is 'scary' - especially in the society we have today. But it shouldn't be. If we were getting things right, we should all feel positive about growing older and secure in the knowledge that we will not be discarded like some old coat that we have no more use for - that's the real scary part. Many thanks for taking the time to comment and for your very interesting comment - much appreciated.
Absolutely wonderful! I just love this one! You've written with such honesty about a fact which effects all of us; young, old and in between. There shall we all arrive! It's sad that such a beautifully aware hub must be written, at all. But, such is the case and you've done a great service to all of us at any age...there is much to be learned from your words here. Thank you, Seeker...up, beautiful, useful and awesome and more!!! Kathy
PS the poem by Edgar Guest is amazing and pretty much wraps it up for me!
Wonderfully stated. I read your comment at another site and follwed you here. You might enjoy "Lean agasint the Wind," a new novel that touches on this. See my Hubs in order to see a few of my thoughts on this. RJ
1. Hi luckycats,
thank you so much for your lovely comment. I do agree that hubs like this shouldn't have to be written, but I guess as long as injustice to our elderly folks continue, then I'll continue to fly a flag for them. I loved the Edgar Guest poem as well. I think it's one of those rare pieces of work that reaches out to all ages. Many thanks again for stopping by.
2. Hi Reynold Jay,
Many thanks for your lovely comment and for taking the time to read the hub - it really is appreciated. I will certainly read 'Lean against the Wind' it sounds fascinating and will look up your hubs. Many thanks for sharing this information.
Hi Seeker7, it's nice to meet you, I have read your hub with great interest, I love the quote by Jennifer Yane and enjoyed reading everyones comments, my parents are elderly now and suddenly things have changed, it comes as quite a shock! this is written so well, voted up.
So many live in an artificial world where buying beauty products, fad clothes, and the latest tech items are the only meaningful thing in their lives. This isn't because their parents didn't raise them without values. Society has changed and with it a loss of closeness with another person. The media, ads, technology, etc. didn't exist 30 years ago and I think this has been a major cause of how the younger people see themselves. Older people are tolerated and in many cases are used as a means to get something.
Hi Auntie D,
Many thanks for taking the time to leave a comment. I think you have raised a number of important issues. In paticular advertising and the media - and the robotic way that many in society follow them. What is more damaging is society's way of believing that if it's advertised or a celeb. is wearing/doing/talking about it then nothing in life matters unless they follow suit.
I have come across - unfortuantely - in my career many elderly people who, as far as I'm concerned - were preyed upon by some family members. When they were dying, it was sickening to see with some of our residents, the 'worms coming out of the woodwork' bascially to see if there was going to be any pickings. We could do nothing about it except keep our mouths shut and act professional - very, very difficult at times.
Many thanks for stopping by I found your input very interesting.
I love this hub, so well written and so encouraging, thankyou.
We lost another of our elderly family members just this morning, it is sobering to be reminded of our mortality and also of our place here while we are here. What we can contribute and what legacies we can leave.
Thankyou and bless you.
Judy
Hi Judy,
So sorry to hear that you have lost an elderly member of your family. And yes, you are correct, it is sobering to be reminded of our mortality. I've worked with elderly people since I was about 18 years old - I'm now 49 - so em, I've had quite a few reminders of my own mortality over the years. But even although they are gone physically their legacy and contribrutions to our society and to our personal lives continues.
Thank you so much for the lovely comment and for taking the time to stop by.
Thankyou Seeker for your very kind thoughts. Blessings again
Judy
Old people do not lose relevance to society because of their age. It pains me to see old people being sent off to care homes instead of living with their families, with their children whom they took care of and raised. There was a time when my Grandma and my siblings were having a row of sorts and my Grandma said, "No one likes old people!" The people of today seem to have no love for old people, being too busy with their material lives and having no time to indulge an aged person by just listening to their stories.
Hi Rehana,
Many thanks for stopping by and I agree with your point of view entirely. Having worked with elderly people for twenty years or so I can vouch for how much they still contribute to society and it is our modern loss that we can't see their value. As you say many are far too interested in material issues rather than the people who make society strong.
Hi Seeker 7,
This is a very nice commentary, and I love the poetry you chose to accent it. I'm at that age where if I let myself think about it too much, I think, "I'm getting old." My best friend and I used to have long talks about how we would feel "when we got old." The thing is, I don't feel any different! It's the same me! I grew up with some physical limitations, so learned young that I have good days and bad days where I can't do what I want. So I learned to be patient. I wish people would value the elderly more in our society too. I lost many family members at young ages, so don't have any role models either. One good point is that I think the older people like me try harder to exercise, eat right, and keep in shape. I don't mind a little help, but I don't want to burden anyone.
Hi Jean,
Many thanks for stopping by and for leaving such an interesting and touching comment. I commend your courage and outlook on coping with your limitations - you are a very unique and deep thinking person I think!
I'm 49 now and I agree with you completely - I too feel the same 'me' as I did when I was 18. Elderly people are exactly the same people as well - but because society focuses so much on the physical, they are often treated as if they have turned into a different species. This is heartbreaking for them, when inside they are the same child, the same teenager, the same young man/woman, the same mature adult as they are now. We need to see beyond this physical packaging and focus on the real people inside.
I was lucky I had a two Grans and a Grandad right up until I was in my late twenties and it was a joy to have them around for so long, especially growing up. I think it is very sad when people have lost out on the love and company of elders at any stage of their life.
I think you have hit the nail on the head of the biggest fear most elderly people have - 'being a burden'. The point is - you're not! You have contributed to society from a young age in whatever capacity you can manage, therefore in your elder years you are ENTITLED to be supported in whatever way you require. Elderly people are not burdens or liabilites, they are members of our human community who have every right to the care and attention that any other age group receive.
If you have concerns about being a burden to your family because of care needs you may have - don't be. It is amazing the support and tools that can be used to firstly help someone stay independant for much longer and secondly there is support in the community to help you and your family. No elderly person is a burden, it's a case of looking around, planning and organising what needs to be done to support someone. When support is created in this way the 'burden' does not exist.
Many, many thanks for your interesting comment and I'm really glad that you enjoyed the hub!
I related to your hub in several ways. In one way, I have seen my Aunt make it through to the age of 98 and I've noticed how she held on to her youth deep inside. The exterior may show age, but the true person lies within. And in another way, I myself can already realize, as you said, there is still that young person within wondering what happened.
When people are young they take life for granted and they have no idea what it's like when they get older.
You've done a great job discussing this important topic that everyone should read and understand before the hands of time surprise them. I voted up.
Hello Glen Stok,
Many thanks for stopping by and taking the time to leave a comment - and a very interesting one.
I have met and looked after so many elderly people in their late 80's and 90's who would put people 40 years their junior to shame! So I salute and take my hat off to your extraordinary Aunt. I have also seen time and time again that the vibrant young person is always still present deep within and it's this part more than anything that we should respect and cherish.
I agree about young people - but as you say, even in their case 'the hands of time' will one day surprise them and it's not that long in coming. I'm 49 now and I am stunned at how the years have just passed so quickly, especially since hitting the 30's! LOL!
Lovely to hear from you and many thanks again for your very interesting comment.
I found your hub interesting to read. I loved the poem too.
We all know someone who is old at forty and someone else who is young at seventy three!! These young minded older people still embrace life with zest and enthusiasm and don't look down on the younger generation - it is a two way street after all. However it is a shame that not all elderly people get the respect they deserve and it is up to us to try and change that. How I'm not sure.
Hi Debbie,
Many thanks for stopping by and glad that you enjoyed the hub.
I agree with you about the old 40's and young 70's - aren't they amazing!!! And it's the way the still love life that makes them all the more wonderful!
I also agree about the respect and I guess it is often a trait that is learned within the family and so this dis-respect is repeated through the generations. I think for attitudes to change towards elderly people will be a long and painful process. Our culture is just so ingrained with youthful body, mind, outlook etc., that at the present time it doesn't seem as if there is any room left for the elderly.
Younger folks need wake up calls about aging and the aged. Maybe it would help if our elders wore Ts that say: You are looking at your future - if you live this long.
There's such denial about aging that younger folks need to be hit over the head a bit...they are not immune from this process unless they die.
I enjoyed reading your thoughts and the thoughtful comments others left. I posted a link to here from our fb page, Not So Old Broads.
http://www.facebook.com/notsooldbroads
Voted up, up, up!
Hi Sally,
Lovely to hear from you and many thanks for the link - I will also look this page up on Facebook - thank you.
I agree with you. Younger people are tending to bury their heads in the sand and blocking out the fact that they will grow old one day. This is life and nature and there is nothing anyone can do about it. I think as well, that if they saw elderly people being treated with the love and respect due to them, perhaps their negative attitude would lessen somewhat!
But yes, society needs to wake up!! Being elderly is not a disease or a horrible condition. It is life and nature and the process and path that we all take. It would do them well to start preparing for this journey now.
I love the idea of the T-shirts!!! Brilliant slogan!!!
It was great to hear from you and many thanks for your very interesting comment and the vote up - it's really appreciated!!
Hi Seeker,
I have such a fondness for the elderly, and loved your hub. The young just don't realize that everything you ever wanted or needed to know, you can learn by kneeling at the feet of an old person.They have so much wisdom. Thanks for bringing this to hubbers attention. I am new to hubbing, and would appreciate you checking me out. Thanks, Myrtle
t
Hi Myrtle, lovely to hear from you and many thanks for stopping by.
I'm glad that you enjoyed the hub! I agree with you. I cared for elderly people for many years and it becomes clear just how much they fought and worked to give younger people what they have today. Then sadly they are pushed aside when it's decided they are no longer useful. This is a great shame on our society. We should learn from other cultures around the world who revere their elders - their communities do seem to be much more stable and the younger people much happier.
I'll definately take you up on your offer to 'check you out'!! LOL! A warm welcome to Hub Pages and I'm sure you will really enjoy yourself here! See you soon.
the elderly in my opinion are the salt of the earth, we should cherish every second we get with them, lovely hub.
Hello Joy56, many thanks for stopping by and taking the time to leave a commnet. I agree with you 100%, our world is a much emptier and sadder place when the finally do go! Their worth shouldn't be measure in years and money - they should be placed well above that.
Old age is attempted to be prevented in many ways as you've mentioned above. I like exercising my mind to stay sharp, but I might not color my hair once it turns all gray. Voted up.
Hi Ann810,
Many thanks for stopping by and glad that you enjoyed the hub. The interesting thing about the mind, is that if we work to keep it sharp the body usually follows suit. It can literally be mind over matter.
Hi Seeker7. A great hub which says a lot. I remember my Mother used to say 'you will get old one day' this after I had tried to encourage her to do something she did not want to do. Only as I have got older do I appreciate her words. Well done a great shout for the oldies!
voted up / interesting.
Graham.
Hi Graham, as usual lovely to hear from you!
Glad that you enjoyed the hub about our elderly! I think after caring for elderly people for so many years both as a nurse and then care manager, you get a good insight into how elderly people are treated - on the whole, not very well! So I reckon how they are treated now, we'll all get a taste of it when our time comes.
Thanks for writing about this. I often wonder how people can be "ageist" in our society, given that this is each individual's natural fate. There are society's that revere older people. We could certainly learn from them.
LauraGT many thanks for the visit and glad that you enjoyed the hub. Hopefully as a society we will progress in the right direction and appreciate elderly people for their true worth to us all.
my grandparents are old but they are not ugly. i remember my great grand mother she is really funny she tell a lot of stories about legendary horror creatures.
i always benefit wisdom from the old people.
i think the media are the one telling us about being old is ugly. one wrinkle already ugly LOL not good.
Hello Jhudah, many thanks for stopping by and thank you for the lovely comment about your grandparents. I agree with you as well, my grandparents were definately not ugly either and their sense of humour was awesome! I also learned a lot about myself and about life from them! This world would be a much sadder place if we didn't have our elderly folks!
Mr. Happy Level 7 Commenter 14 months ago
I personally do not think age is a bad thing. I like my wine aged. I like Gothic architecture even though it's quite old. I tend to look for people with experience when I need an advice - the older the better.
I tend to think that intelligence can be achieved by gaining knowledge but wisdom only comes with age. Our attitude matters in how we feel and how we make others feel. Age is relative, I think.
Great blog, thank you!